As one of Chicago’s famous sportscasters always—always said (even during sleet and snow!)—“It’s a beautiful day in Chicago!” and my father, driving in rain or sleet and snow, had unfavorable comments! However, Fall is usually everybody’s favorite season and the weather “pretty much” behaves, and it’s a good time to get into or continue your walking and exercising and planning for Thanksgiving! Don’t overwhelm yourself, however (said she who is planning a birthday party for her husband this Monday and quietly tearing her hair! Himself is in “the mid-eighties” and doing quite well, considering a badly-used and abused shoulder and a back that can hamper his running in a 10 K race—or, actually, a 2 K would be a problem. In live, however, things are what they are—they are facts that one deals with and we are looking forward to a Christmas cruise to the islands, out of Galveston, and I’m really looking forward to seeing Galveston and a neighbor here is a 5th generation Galvestonian and told me a lot about its wonders and history.
Since we’re dealing in facts, let me quickly state that this is a non-Fiction col. (smooth segue, right?) and the first one is a good “relationship advice book”, “
How to Have a Match Made in Heaven”, by
Ariel and Shya Kane, and this couple has taught/given seminars to individuals, couples, and organizations “how to live in the moment and unwire the knee-jerk behaviors that get in the way of living life with ease”, such as Himself and I discussing the fascinating subject of, do I have to have any more clothes? Everyone has the “button” that can be pushed and this couple discusses the buttons and other factors i.e. everything is not 50-50 and one of the other demands that the other one do their share or give in their share or take responsibility for their mistakes (I don’t recall the last time I made a mistake, actually, but I can tell you in 15 seconds prep time the ones Himself needs to pay attention to!) By the way, all of this is in humor, you understand.
One of their first points is excellent but you gotta think about it. “In order to be kinder to yourself and others, you first have to pay attention to the way you currently behave, and it starts by noticing when you’re harsh and when you use derogatory terms or an abusive tone. When you notice this behavior and don’t judge yourself for doing it, then the behavior will dwindle away on its own. Do not criticize yourself for what you see, then you’re resisting your behavior, which will only that that despite your best intentions, you won’t be able to stop. You’ll be trapped in a cycle of behaving “badly,” then feeling “badly,” and then behaving “badly” all over again. When you are harsh with yourself for being harsh, it simply reinforces the behavior, and, in other words, what you resist persists, grows stronger, and dominates your life. But, if you have been unkind to your partner, it’s still a really good idea to apologize.”
Their points are quite good, and learning how we can grow stronger and be nicer in our relationships is a worthwhile endeavor, in my humble opinion. Their points are taken from actual people whom they’ve talked to and I found this an interesting point—intimacy—“When Shya (her husband) say the word ‘intimacy’, your mind probably goes to physical and you thought he meant sex, when what he means is an extension of how you are being together in the kitchen or the living room. A lot of us need to recognize that it’s how you handle the glass of orange juice or pour your partner’s coffee or what you laugh at and share the same instant thoughts—it’s about actually being where you are in everything that you do, rather than going somewhere else in your thoughts or actions—i.e. turning away from the person rather than laughing or adding to the comments.” I thought it an excellent point and we’ve all both—I stress both partners—done this, then later on said, “Now, what were you finding so funny this morning?”—7 hours later! The moment is gone, lil darling. I was, frankly, a little leery of this book and found it very common sense and their observations quiet intelligent, so go find it and check it out and, just maybe, find some ideas you can ponder and, perhaps, use whether your marriage be a few months old or, in my case, quite a few years.
This next book, I guess I just assumed must be fairly obvious by now, and maybe to those of us from age 55 on up it is, but, as I read “
The One Hundred; A Guide to the Pieces Every Stylish Woman Must Own”, by
Nina Garcia, I came to my conclusion that, honestly, many of these pieces we all have seen, bought, debated about buying, and become more conscious of what we’re putting in our closets. Ms. Garcia is “the unerring, formidable fashion judge on the TV show, “Project Runway”, and has terrific credentials of having worked with top designers and now lives and works in New York City (I’d have bet on that over, say, Forgan, Ok.).Let’s see some of what she has to say—let’s start with the exotic skin handbag. Shop for and find one at a really good second-hand store—they are much cheaper there—and the three skins that will never—never—go out of style are crocodile, snakeskin and ostrich, “and if you need justification for spending what you assuredly will spend even at a bargain, these bags never—ever—go out of style.
Coco Chanel once said, “Luxury must be comfortable, otherwise it is not luxury”—in other words, Poppets, one should not be overly conscious of the style one is wearing—it should be comfortable but it can also be luxurious and warm and just plain wonderful i.e. cashmere sweaters. They do go on sale, you know, and there is no bulk, it’s warm, and you’ll love the light, easy feel—“it is advisable to have as many as possible in as many versions as possible.” Amen, Sister, and, yes, they, too, go on sale at dept. stores as Spring approaches. Need more down-to-earth ideas from Ms. Garcia? By all means—let’s talk about brooches and cable-knit sweaters. The old idea---as in “used-to-be”—was to wear a discreet but pretty flower brooch at the V of a neckline or on a suit lapel (just one, please, my grandmother said). Fageddiboudit! Wear four or five close together on a lapel, pocket, large collar or wherever you choose—you can buy them at inexpensive jewelry stores or Dillard’s or Macy’s or Nordstrom’s or most anywhere ‘cause they’re the newest fun way to wear them! Bright and sparkly (like our personalities, right ladies!
The cable-knit sweater began, in Ireland, hand-knitted and very warm in order to keep the fishermen warm (even though some people thought it was Ali McGraw in “Love Story”!)and there’s a personal style for everyone i.e. “Weekend Casual; Supremely Sophisticated, Thoroughly Modern and Prep School Chic---and the last one is, stay true to your roots and wear a J.Crew version with chinos and moccasins. Great, fun book to look through and, dare I say it, learn from and what are the classics and what are “fads.” I, personally, at this stage in life, have some of each. Good luck!
Wouldn’t it be great fun to listen in on presidential phone calls? Can you believe that JFK deliberately had a tape deck installed in his office but—guess what?—“In July 1962, in an effort to preserve an accurate of presidential decision-making in a highly charged atmosphere of conflicting viewpoints, strategic tactics, JFK installed hidden recording machines in both the Oval Office and in the Cabinet Room. The result is a priceless historical archive comprising some 265 hours of taped material” and the book is “
Listening In; The Secret White House Recordings of John F. Kennedy”,
Ted Widmer. Checking out this book also includes 2 CD’s, available at the desk.
His daughter, Caroline, does the foreword, should that interest you. Here are the stories behind the story “in the unguarded words and voices of the decision-makers themselves.” Some of this country’s really important events, that are covered, Cuban Missile Crisis, Space Race, Vietnam, and the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty and there is a dramatic level in the 2 CD’s to make clear what a lot of history we’ve all been through. It’s an important book—and, actually, quite readable—and one that perhaps all of us should read and ponder. I, personally, found the conversation about could we go to the moon and when between Mr. Webb and Kennedy and you will, too. Please check out this book, as well as the CD’s, and learn while enjoying.
The last book is “
Change Your Words, Change Your Life; Understanding the Power of Every Word You Speak”, by a famous author,
Joyce Meyer, who believes (and uses Bible passages to brilliantly bracket them) “Words are a big deal. I believe that our words can increase or decrease our level of joy, affect the answers to our prayers and have a positive or negative effect on our future.” She provides a series of guidelines for making sure that what we say is constructive not negative and achieve the results in our lives and personal relations we want and, actually provides good stepping stones. Some of her topics include
- How to Tame Your Tongue (thought of a few people to send this book to already, haven’t ‘cha?)
- When to Talk and When Not to Talk (now, I’ve got a few people who could benefit!);
- The Corrosion of Complaints
- How to Have a Smart Mouth and Do You Really Have to Give Your Opinion?(I just feel I should share my valuable insights on almost anything—okay?)
There are my choices for this column, and I sincerely hope one of them strikes a chord with you! Do check out our newest Non-Fiction books at the library and say a friendly “hi” to our staff ‘cause they like and are good at what they do and they do a great deal. I know our Board appreciated the extra events through the Spring and Summer and don’t forget our newest electronic “gadgets” we provide. Enjoy the Fall weather and coming chilly Winter ‘cause it gives us all a chance to stay in where it’s warm and read our favorite authors—or maybe some new ones on the scene. Go see the movie, “Argo” and reflect that it’s all true---also coming up, in the movie realm, is “Lincoln” which it already being talked about for an Oscar. Enjoy your walking and speak kindly to everyone. Bye!
