Nonfiction

Several years ago, I called a friend/attorney/great-sense-of-humor guy's office-yes, Virginia, there are attorneys who are all of these things--and when his secretary asked who was calling, I answered, "Catherine the Great"--not a snicker out of her--and, I learned later, she walked all the way back to the attorney's office (at the end of a long hall, naturally) and told him he had a phone call--was asked who it was--and she calmly and matter-of-factly said, "Catherine the Great." Whereupon, my amused friend waved a hand and said, "Oh, that's Connie Yoxall--put her on hold." Priceless! I wonder if I'm still on hold as we speak?

I thought of that when I looked at the prized book that the Liberal Library sent me, amongst three others, for this column and it's "Catherine the Great; Portrait of a Woman", by the world's best (at least IN TOP 3) biographers, Robert Massie. To answer a question sometimes asked of me--"NO, I do not read all the books that I write about " and, in this case, it would be a 2 week project as it is 530 pages long, but I think she was such a fascinating monarch in such a backward--truly uncivilized--world and Massie is so conscientious a researcher that I will probably add it to my personal library.
Catharine came from a minor noble family and "transformed herself into Empress of Russia by sheer determination." She apparently possessed a brilliant mind and, with a strong sense of curiosity, read heavily into philosophers and, upon gaining the throne, "attempted to use their principles to guide her rule of the back and backward Russian empire." She corresponded with great figures of her time; Voltaire, Marie Antoinette "and, surprisingly, the American naval hero John Paul Jones."

Of course, ascending a throne doesn't mean everything's peaches and cream and butterflies (that's principally why I've refused to take over several thrones!) as she found out, "always contending with the deeply ingrained realities of Russian life, including serfdom." For many years she dealt with domestic rebellion, foreign wars, and the recurring problems of inner discontent and uncertain future "and her reputation depended entirely on the perspective of the speaker and could be both vilified and praised. Her "favorites" meant the constant stream of young, handsome men to continually make her feel young and attractive in a sexual way but her "most significant lover and possible husband was with her for 17 years of unparalleled mutual achievement".

It's almost like the "yellow journalism" papers that are for sale near the grocery store's cash registers as you check out of the grocery store or Walgreen's--except that the book is Non-fiction and faithfully tells a story of a life, great deeds and selfish motives of one of History's great figures. So, give yourself a treat and go to the library and check this one out!

This next book, or at least its title, reflects some of my feeling about the idiots in Washington the last few years--"Throw Them All Out; How Politicians and Their Friends Get Rich Off Insider Stock Tips, Land Deals, and Cronyism That Would Send the Rest of Us to Prison!", by PeterSchweizer--Yes! They should all go home--soon--don't bother leaving a forwarding address--you won't be contacted.

The suggestion of Rick Perry, Texas' gov., resonated with a lot of people i.e. Congress meets half of every year and gets half their present salary and the rest of the time they go home and work in the private sector and pay the bills and live like other people. Seriously! There are a lot of people who agree with that proposal.

Anyway, this gentleman/author has written on Washington before and is a contributor to NBC News and makes, unfortunately, good points that may or may not sit well with some people. His principal point is that money is made by Congressmen, "who come into office with relatively modest assets--then as investors, they regularly beat the market with or without trading stocks, they retire rich." He says the answer to how they do it is crony capitalism, not so much as outright bribery (visions of suitcases full of money exchanging hands in a back alley are not what we're talking here, friends) but "members of Congress trade stocks based on privileged information."

They make sure that bills contain "earmarks" to improve their real estate holdings and, according to this book and my morning paper, no one knows exactly how much money is given to campaign funds, for example, until after an election and a lot of it is shrouded in secrecy. Former speaker Nancy Pelosi received insider shares and bought millions more in Visa stock and shortly thereafter she blocked 4 bills that would have harmed the company.

All of this has been known to quite a few--this ain't done under bushes at midnight--it's a scandal that happens in bright light. Ah well, what else is new? That doesn't make it right, it just is something we need to know, even if it's accompanied by a feeling of helplessness as to what any citizen can do. Basta! (Italian for "enough") but--but--before we leave this book, I do urge you to check it out and learn what you may not want to know but need to be made aware of, particularly as we approach an election. Review the title.

One of the writers of "The Simpsons" TV show said, of the next book, "Alarming and reassuring---Wait, that's impossible" and the title of Ms. Merrill Markoe's book "Cool, Calm, and Contentious" already lets you know this is a "different kind of book' and I wondered what is was. Well--this is a collection of personal essays with a secret formula for comedy--i.e." start out with a difficult mother, develop some classic teenage insecurities, add a few relationships with equally narcissistic men, toss in an unruly pack of selfish dogs finish it off with the kind of crystalline perspective that only comes from navigating a roiling sea of unpleasant and unappeasable people ---and you're funny."

She's apparently written several other titles (you might have guessed, by now, that I'm not familiar with the lady--but I love humor and personality in anyone, so I'm willing to learn) but "this is by far her most personal, affecting collection yet--candid, unapologetic, often painful, but always shot through with the bracing, wicked sense of humor that has made her such a beloved and incisive observer of life, both human and canine." (Canine? How interesting!)

There's her mother, apparently out of sorts most of the time, "who took pleasure in being unpleasant to waiters and spent most of her life in varying degrees of being pissed off". She finally came to the realization that she found dogs more appealing and honest than people. (actually, she wrote two books whose titles refer to dogs--"Nose Down, Eyes Up" and "Walking in Circles Before Lying Down"--it's important to turn around 3 or 4 times before finally settling down--and a lot of the times I'll bet I"d agree with her!) This book is good for fans who have mothers who are so difficult and demanding that they actually make you feel grateful and pleased with whatever life you have!
One of the funniest--to me--true stories she reports is when she's about to address a group of 8 girls who, amidst 400 white slip-covered chairs in the auditorium, had gathered to hear her talk and inspire them about becoming writers.

"I would zero in on what each of these potential authors had in mind. By giving each of them special attention, I would light a fire under all of them that they would never forget. By the time this was over, they would race back to their college dorms, crazed with the need to write something that mattered to them--maybe they would dedicate a future literary work to me! I would make sure we'd all stay in touch."

"Okay,"I began in an encouraging talk-to-me tone--I wanted to address them in an earnest manner--"what would you guys like to talk about first?" A heavyset girl raised her hand and I nodded in her direction, encouragingly--"When is the drawing for the Avon basket", she asked." Your dear reviewer fell on the floor, laughing, and the second girl, for her question asked Ms. Markoe, "I'd like more information on cleansers and moisturizers for dry skin." By that time, I laughed so hard I had tears starting--see, sometime, in my seminars, years ago, I'd think that I, too, had a lot of wonderful, solid gold thoughts and opinions to hand out to people--maybe so, maybe not. Anyway, the book is funny and a blast to read, so go check it out and enjoy!

I'm always a little leery of books giving advice on marriage--actually on books of advice of any kind short of the Episcopal church service and Book of Common prayer and Mark Twain--but this one might work, "The Meaning of Marriage; Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God." I did smile at something the author said--"Much of what I've heard on the subject has as much depth as a Hallmark greeting card and while marriage if many things, it is anything but sentimental--it's glorious but hard and no marriage I know of more than a few weeks old could be described as a fairy tale come true."

Keller, married to his wife, Kathy, for 36 years, believes, has learned and shows that God created marriage to bring us closer to Him and to bring more joy into our lives--but it is the one most misunderstood and mysterious." I have always loved the billboard, in Arizona on the highway going into Phoenix, that you suddenly come upon and it says, "Nice wedding--now invite me to the marriage and it's signed "God" and I have always remembered it and pondered it, thinking, at that time and from then on--"Gotcha".
Anyway, this is an excellent book with genuine common sense and good points, and I particularly liked what he said about "head of the house" and if there is a stalemate on a subject, who gets the final vote?

His voice or tone in writing about this subject is loving and clear, and one statement is, "A wife is not to give her husband unconditional obedience" and it's explained and the one below this one is "Assuming the role of leadership is only done for the purpose of ministering to your wife and family." His points are made clearly and compassionately, and, on pg. 207, he discusses Paul calling "singleness" a gift from God. During times of healing or regrouping, "you probably need deep Christian friendship more than dates and ideas of marriage", says the author, and "to experience the gift of singleness is to experience no emotional struggle or wish to be married." Keller reminds us that when Paul uses the word "gift", it is to mean an ability "God gives to build others up." The thoughts and ideas for this book came from 9 sermons he preached in New York at Redeemer Presbyterian Church, and I have to admit there really are some wonderful, thoughtful, and joyous/funny words in here, so I do recommend it to you.

I truly wish you a good year ahead, lessons to be reviewed and re-learned, family and friends to be appreciated, animals to hug and be grateful for, and, always, for most of the time, at least, a strong sense of who you are and respect for your achievements and-- for those goals not yet reached?--Well, maybe God has you still on "hold" in his plans for you. Okay, go fix "a cuppa" hot chocolate or tea or coffee, sit down in your favorite chair, and enjoy the simple yet profound act of relaxing--you can hear your nerve endings uncurl! Bye!