"Helen, she’s back—I thought Ms. Librarian of the mid-nineties just had a column in here. Why doesn't someone give her a cat? On second thought, cats don’t read columns. Oh, well..maybe she’s lonesome and wants to talk to us about more books—and more books. I wonder if she drinks beer—I do." Hi, guys! I’m sitting here looking at another major golf tour on TV and remembering how my dear, darling grandmother, whom I called “Foof”, loved the game and, at one time, was Kansas Women’s Golf Champion—or something like that, anyway. I know she always said, “You can hit the ball a mile, but you can lose your game on the putting green”, and she was so pleased when I took Golf at Washburn University in Topeka as part of my Phys. Ed. Course. I told her my final score was some now-forgotten low number for 9 holes, and she was so proud of me—and then I said, “You know, it’s terribly annoying when you dig up grass and dirt, with your swing, but the ball is still sitting there!” Foof said “Wait a minute—you whiffed the ball on each hole—you didn’t actually hit it?” and I told her that eventually, after several swings, I certainly did hit the ball. When she stopped laughing, I learned each stroke counted --and promptly gave up the game. I love the definition of Golf—“a perfectly good walk spoiled.”
I’m about to order a pretty white, floaty dress for Summer heat and I’m sure it will come in handy when it’s between 97 and 100 degrees—and another fact I can confidently say is that this column is Non-Fiction and we will find just the perfect “read” for you, out there—I’m confident. So, let’s begin with a truly funny book, “Cruising Attitude; Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama, and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 Feet”, by Heather Poole, and the stories she tells are endlessly funny and you can hardly put the book down!
Prince William’s wife, Catherine, “was born to parents who had both worked as airline crew before going into the party supply business—“and some of those who have married flight attendants are Robert De Niro, Wayne Newton, Russian Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin, Greece Prime Minister George Papandreous, and Kelsey Grammar, among others and while times and requirements have changed, the job is still a desirable one, with thousands of people applying each year.”
I just hooted when she said, every time she gets on the plane, she tries to identify the “Crazy”, who will say or do or demand or plans to do, on their own, something that really would make that particular flight strange, or tiring, or fraught with possibilities of disaster…and then there was the princess who didn’t like her seat, the light, had to have fresh, uncooked vegetables, wanted changed from Business class to First Class, no foam cup but a regular china mug, needed supporting help to get to the bathroom (which may or may not have been the reason the sink was overflowing with what might or might not have been brown water, clutched Heather’s arm tightly and hissed, “I haven’t asked for much on this flight, and I’ve been pretty nice on this flight considering the circumstances.” Heather said, “I inhaled deeply and nodded my head in agreement—because, in fact, she had asked more of me than any other passenger had in 15 years of flying!” The “brown water” inner vision got me! Ye Gods and Little Fishhooks! What a charmer to have to take care of.
Her stories are a great panoramic view of how the stewardesses/flight attendants got started, their early standards, and, today, in her airline, “the average age of a flight attendant is 40 years old and for the first time in history, being a flight attendant is considered a profession, not just a job. Ninety-six percent of the people who apply to an airline don’t get hired” -- you might want to read that again, should you know someone who is applying and thinking it’s a no-brainer -- they better have some brains as well as looks and ambition. Get the book and sit back to enjoy and learn what being a “stew” really is. Great reading!
“Revelations” is, hands down, the most controversial book of the Bible and, in her previous books, "Pagels has brought readers to the suppressed biblical texts known as the Gnostic Gospels—now, she turns to a text that is firmly, dramatically, within the New Testament canon. What is the meaning of its surreal images of dragons, monsters, angels and cosmic wars. Why were other books of revelations discarded while this one survived?"
So, she returns to the last days of the mighty Roman Empire, where militant Jews in the city of Jerusalem had been defeated and it resulted in the desecration of the Great Temple in that city; in the aftermath of that war, John of Patmos, “a Jewish prophet and a follower of Jesus Christ, wrote the Book of Revelation, prophesying God’s judgment on the pagan empire that devastated and dominated his people.” Well, Christians, needing hope and promise, championed/agreed with John’s prophecies because they offered hope and promise as offering hope, but “others seized on the Book of Revelations as a weapon against heretics and infidels of all kinds”, and the book has fascinated these same people up to today. And this is what I found fascinating—“Those who loved John’s visions refused to discard them and instead reinterpreted them—as Christians have done for 2,000 years” and, perhaps, the best way to look at Revelations is each generation sees its own conflicts, sufferings, and hope in the grand visions that John had or saw.
On a fabulous trip to Greece—I’d go again next week, given the chance—the one place I thought I had no interest in climbing up another small mountain—literally!—to reach was on the island of Patmos and being able to see the cave where John was held prisoner, and where he did his writing of the Revelations. So, I stayed on board ship and have regretted it ever since—what a wonderful opportunity it would have been for this Episcopal layreader to have seen John’s cave. We were told that the reason his captors let his writings of strange visions go out to the world was that the Romans thought he was crazy and these were hallucinations and no one would take them seriously. In this writing, God sends terrible catastrophes upon Earth and its people and then steps in to save them. Not an easy book, but one that, if read one chapter at a time is worth your effort.
A lot of the beginning training work is done “on leash” but it becomes an advanced course when the dog is taken off leash, and encouraged to move off from his handler 50 to 60 ft. and sniff out IED’s—and the first thing they learn is to bond with their “person”, and the worst thing, to me, would be to ignore the blast of explosives going on all around them (but then, I don’t like someone eating popcorn around me in the movie!)
Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant Kristopher Knight—“Gunny” is a legendary trainer, tough on men and dogs, will step in and address a problem (very frank, almost brutal in making his points but sound judgement and great skills in managing men and dogs) and the lessons handed out are remembered—on both sides of the leash. If an aggressive dog doesn’t back off his target, “the trick, say the veteran handlers, is to remain calm and in control while getting the dog’s attention via a little ‘ass whupping’, whereby the dog is thrown down on his back and quickly slapped on his head—the idea is not to hurt him so much as to let him know, in no uncertain terms that this behavior will not be tolerated.” Justice, as we all know, can come from unexpected places “and it is not unheard of for other instructors or handlers to mete out quid pro quid punishment. Kick a dog hard in his belly when he’s already flat on his back, for instance, and don’t be surprised when what goes around comes around.” Yes! I’ll bet on it being the last time an unfair punishment is given to the dog by that particular trainer.
Great book—and a branch of one of my dogs, my Belgian Shepherd, Trooper, called a French Malinois, was strapped across the shoulders of a Seal Team member as they parachuted into B.Laden’s compound. They are a short-coated black and brown dog who is a little hard-headed but smart and devoted to their “person”, and that dog is still “in service” today. Wouldn’t you love to have a one-on-one talk with “Gunny” and hear his stories, both with dogs and handlers? Great book, find, heel, and read, dear readers.
Last quick look at a book is “The Man Without a Face; The Unlikely Rise of Vladimir Putin”, by Masha Gessen. In 1999, "the family surrounding Boris Yeltsin went looking for a successor to the ailing and increasingly unpopular president of Russia and Putin, with very little governmental experience, beyond having worked as deputy mayor of St. Petersburg, seemed the perfect choice."
The infatuated West were determined to see in him the progressive leader of their dreams, “even as with ruthless efficiency Putin dismantled the country’s media, wrested control and wealth from a growing middle class and decimated the fragile mechanisms of democracy.” Surprise! After just a few years, every obstacle was overcome and every opposing view silenced---those who would not be dominated left or died.” Quite a book with great insights into Putin as he was and is will be for awhile.
Enjoy a good book, here at the beginning of Summer, with, in daytime hours, a glass of iced tea (with lime, please) and, in the evening on your patio, a glass of cold white wine (perhaps a chilled “Clos de Bois”?) In any case, be sure your animals have fresh water morning and evening and be sure to read one of the books mentioned here—or all of them! Be glad you have a great library in Liberal and thanks for reading along! Caio!
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