Nonfiction Column

Allo, Chickies—I'm back from several weeks somewhere in outer space—Christmas, kidney stones, and extra volunteering at the Kroc Ctr. here (the Salvation Army has built nine of them and is on their way to a tenth outside of Washington which will be 84,000 sq. ft.!) and unfortunately, due to a computer crash and replacement and learning how to “do” this column in a new setting, plus a deadline, this will be a short column I will, however, list the books I was sent from the library, and say something about a selection of them as I have an appointment in about one hour and I need to get this column sent. Okay, here are the Non-Fiction books that the library sent me—and, by the way, the main reason I’ve run out of time is that our Liberal mail is, apparently, sent to Amarillo for further distribution, so these titles were three days later than usual.

Okay, "Cesar Millan’s Short Guide to a Happy Dog; 98 Essential Tips and Techniques"; "The Heavy; a Mother, a Daughter, a Diet", by Dara-Lynn Weiss; "When Spiritual But Not Religious Is Not Enough; Seeing God in Surprising Places, Even the Church", by Lillian Daniel ( who is a minister); "Grand Central; How a Train Station Transformed America", by Sam Roberts; "The Real Jane Austen; A Life in Small Things", by Paula Byrne.  I was so very pleased by this selection, sent to me, and I will say a few things about each of them, as I have time available—but—pay attention!—they are at the “liberry” (as the kids say) for you to check out and enjoy and learn from.

Ready—Set—Go!  Millan is, as we dog people know, a dog expert who believes in Control, humans being the ones displaying it and it does not—not—mean harshness or yelling or, as I’ve been known to do, doing sharp pulls on a leash when annoyed on a walk, or raising my "stage voice" in annoyance. He says, "to be a pack leader you must be in control, i.e. if you are on a walk and your dog starts to pull ahead, take control by changing and immediately going in another direction; if your dog is exhibiting a behavior you do not want, stop it then.

Control is not being unkind; humans have trouble with the words, "control" and "dominance" but, says Cesar, if these words disturb you, then substitute other words that mean the same thing but has pleasanter images—identify why the words bother you and, if necessary, replace them with words that are neutral to you, if necessary because, to dogs, our words don’t mean anything—they are just tones of sound. Dogs communicate with energy and—pay attention!—they respond best to us when we are calm and assertive, not hurried, angry, or impatient. This book will bring you plenty of knowledge, says Cesar, "achieving calmness, however, is up to you—work with me and read this book with an open mind."  I  loved one sentence that said, in effect, their mothers never talked to them!

The book, "The Heavy", was in column form, for about a year, in "Vogue" magazine and raised a furor when the mother of a 7-year-old, Bea, was diagnosed as being obese and the mother was told to teach her better eating habits—women, for or against, weighed in (little pun there!) and the biggest point that Dara had to confront was her own eating habits as well as those of her husband and son, and compounding the challenge "were eating environments that set Bea up to fail and unwelcome judgments from her own friends" who, while applauding the idea for Bea’s sake, often were the cause of distress by saying , "Oh, it’s just one cookie—that won’t hurt her." Dara, the mother, "was criticized as readily for enabling Bea’s condition as she was for enforcing the rigid limits necessary to address it—she was made to feel so wrong for trying to do the right thing."  It’s funny in places, uncomfortable in others, but all mothers can identify with it—either from their young years or as a mother today—and,yes, Yogurt does have calories, I learned, and since I think it tastes strange anyway, I was amused ‘cause it is touted to be a necessity on all diets. Nonsense!  How does Bea ultimately do—and the rest of the family? Read the book!

The book, "Grand Central; How a Train Station Transformed America", by Sam Roberts is just wonderful—its beginning, its deterioration and the struggle to save it (which had Jackie-O in the lead), also the homeless people, the great clock in its center, its history through wars—you start reading it and resent any interruptions.  Get it and enjoy.

Since beginning this particular column, I have learned there is a little more time to devote to it than I first thought—thank heavens! I loved the points made, in a funny yet definite way, in "When Spiritual But Not Religious’ Is Not Enough; Seeing God in Surprising Places, Even the Church", by Lillian Daniel. She is well-qualified to speak on such matters as she is the senior minister of the First Congregational Church, outside the Chicago area, since 2004 and the author of two previous books.

She has a knack of making her points with pointed humor and begins by describing a conversation with another passenger during a plane ride, he said, "Let me give you my testimony, if you will allow it, about why I do not attend church" and, after the explanation (by then, I would hazard a guess, they were well over the Rio Grande!) of early years, said his marriage had ended, it was, really, "my wife’s church" and so he found himself spending his Sunday mornings putting on his running shoes and taking off through the woods---"I see myself in the trees and the butterflies.  I am one with the great outdoors. I find God there, and I realized that I am deeply spiritual but no longer religious."

"I was not shocked or upset by the man’s story—I have heard it a million times before—there’s always the long walk, the trees, the walk on the beach—and don’t forget the sunset ‘cause these people always want to tell you that God is in the sunset but push a little harder on this satisfying and self-developed religion and you don’t get much depth—you find God in the sunset and trees—so do I.  But how about in the face of Cancer? Cancer is part of nature, too—as is homelessness, Leukemia, frailty in older people. I think God does want us to feel gratitude. I do not think God particularly wants us to feel "lucky"—I do think God wants us to witness pain and suffering and appalling conditions, and get angry and want to do something about it."

Great writing, funny stories—always ending with words of compassion, wisdom or, yes, even stinging sarcasm to "move" us. Get the book and look up from it, when a point hits you, and think about what Ms. Daniel is saying.

I’m heading to Lawrence for the K.U. basketball game in 2 days and can only assume that the highways will be okay for traveling—and don’t let anyone ever tell you that South Texas does not get cold days in the Winter—it ain’t necessarily so, but blizzards are relatively  rare.

Find a good book at the library and sit in an easy chair, sip hot tea, chocolate or coffee (with dark choc. bits of candy) and figure that Spring will, indeed, come fairly soon. Don’t leave pets out in the cold outdoors overnight, please, and to make my point, go out, just before bedtime, in average wear of jeans and a sweater, stay there 40 minutes and you’ll see how unpleasant it can be.  Buy some small chocolate bunny candy and give some out to others and enjoy the pleased looks on the faces of the recipients. Spring will be here soon, I promise. Bye!